The Dreadmill miles

In the world of running, for the majority of us, the treadmill is the most punishing thing we can do to ourselves. Today, the high in the valley was 118.  I am not going to try to brave that kind of heat to get my two miles in. Instead, I have been reduced to the dreadmill. It's not that bad, and i felt so good running tonight. I wanted to keep going, but when they serve free dinner at your hotel, you take advantage of that benefit. After eating my small side salad, mashed potatoes and some soup, I headed back to the dreadmill for another half mile. I just wanted my food to settle a bit before going to stretch.

I can't say that I was focused on anything for my run. My mind was a whirl of all the things that are going on in life. It's not that I can't handle some of these changes I just don't see how some will actually benefit me and my family. I guess some things are made to be accepted and not necessarily understood.

I have not called those I should to say hello or I love you. I battle with feeling of not being good enough and I run, admittedly not generally for myself but for some twisted reason of making my parents proud of me. I know my husband was right when he said, he can see through me so clearly. I often times go through conversations with my parents in my head. Sometimes it's a good one, these last few days, it hasn't been a good one. And I know that it's just me being weird but sometimes, I feel like I have been skipped over my whole life and then I step back and look at it and I know that's not right.

Tomorrow I am looking forward to my run. Hopefully getting up on time, because this morning, it didn't happen at all. I wanted to but the bed just kept holding onto me. It lulled me into restful submission with its soft white pillowcases of feathers and white sheets that are so pretty you don't even want to sit on them. For now, the day is done, the run is done and now the writing is done. Time for some sleep.

Happy running!

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