And Yet,
I have had so much to say for so long that I think I may just burst into a million pieces if I don't get it all out. There is much that I have been thinking about ton these last few runs. A lot has been going on in our world and I think it's time I took a stance and made myself heard.
About 8 weeks ago, a young lady ws reported missing from Brooklyn Iowa. Her name was Mollie Tibbetts. On a Tuesday, about two weeks ago, a body was discovered about 11 miles away from where she was last seen, presumed to be her body. An arrest has been made and a man has been charged with first degree murder in the case. I am so boiling angry over this I could scream.
Let me start by saying I remember watching stories like this all the time growing up about runners who went missing. There have been a couple that have ended up headless with their heads found floating in the canal where they used to run. This is nothing new to me in this idea of runners being taken and killed. Now that I too have become a runner, and the far reaching arms of social media, shit like this is being taken more and more seriously. But mostly because it happens to women is what is getting me so upset.
When Mollie first came up missing, there were discussions all over the internet as well as social media about tips to not get taken. Directed only to women. How to fight off an attacker. Run with a friend or a dog or both. Get pepper/mace spray. Carry a knife. Carry a gun. Run on a treadmill. Go to the gym. Don't run with only your bra and shorts on. All of these things and more.
And yet, none of this advice is what we would tell a man. I don't have to tell men that they should make sure to cover up their shoulders and knees because it could be distracting to women and interrupt their education. I don't tell men to take extra precautions when you are alone at night because some crazy woman could be lurking outside their windows waiting to break in. I don't have to tell men that running alone is dangerous and it's best to make sure to take extra precautions to go exercise because women are predators and anything could happen. I don't have to say these things to men because it's not something they have to worry about. But as a woman, it's what I have to teach my daughters because men are predators, it's in their nature. Boys will be boys after all.... right?
Why? This question has plagued me for the last few days. Why does it have to be like this? Why can't we just teach our boys to not fucking rape instead of teaching our girls how not to get rapped? And here's the kicker, statistically speaking, there's a very likely chance that it will happen to our baby girls anyway. What the actual fuck??? Have we collapsed so much as a society that it's like this?
I can't tell you how much this makes me crazy. I already run with my music low enough to hear my footsteps. I run with a dog. And pepper spray. And sometimes with my best friend. I have run with a blade handy, and I have also run with a screwdriver in my hand. It seems that we are going about this issue the wrong way. But with the current administration, it's like it's ok to talk to women like they don't have worth other than our looks and that can only be good for the pretty people. Our current administration makes it clear that so many things we as a group of women have fought for, are going out the window with remarks about how it's ok to grab a woman by the pussy if you're rich, because they love it... SMH....
And yet, I still go out to run in the mornings. I still have my dog and my protection, I have had a bit of advise on how to ward off an attacker. I have my wits and my own sense of survival that I want to keep in tact. But, I hate that it has to be like this. I don't know how to change it. I hate the idea of blaming girls for boys being boys. This is a sad excuse we have used for boys not keeping their hands to themselves and never being held accountable for these actions. Boys and men don't have to be assholes. They don't have to have everything catered to them either.
One time I would like to see a boy get sent home because his clothes were too reveling by showing his undershirt. Or sent to change because we can see his knees. There is no easy solution for these issues in our society, they plague women around the globe. It's not just a United States or England or Canada problem. It's in every corner around the world. It meets women from the time they wake in the morning to the time that they go to bed. All the while knowing that they are worth so much more than what they are treated like.
Now, I'm not saying that every women is without fault. Being a woman, I feel like it's like a four sided blade. I hate that I'm treated this way, yet I have used what I have to get my way. I have done things I'm not proud of to advance myself, (not in a lot of years though). I have used the ability to sweet talk someone to get them to do what I want. And yet, when I don't use it and it's given freely, and then we say something about it, well, then I'm just a bitch with an attitude. It's not an easy thing to be a woman, and yet, we keep going.
There is no telling if we will ever be able to feel like we are on an even playing field with our male counterparts. There is no way to know if we will ever have the same pay for the same job. What I do know is we are pissed and we are not going to take this any longer. I know that for me, I will do what ever I can to help teach young men that when she says no, leave her the fuck alone then. She has been nice enough to say no, now you be man enough to accept the rejection. If you see a woman out running, no, she doesn't need you to come up behind her and start yelling stupid things out the window at her. If you see a woman walking down the sidewalk on her way to where she is going, she doesn't need to hear, you would be prettier if you smile. If you see a woman who is dancing and she turns away from you to dance with another, let it go. She is dancing with someone else. Stop making it some sort of personal things against you if she says no. She's just not interested. That's not some sort of character flaw she's got because she isn't interested in what you've got to say, she just wants to be left alone. Now if she comes to you and asks if you want to dance, then go for it.. But understand that when the night is over and she leaves and goes home, just because you had a dance doesn't mean she wants you to show up at her house for an after hour party. I realize the world is dedicated to preservation of the male ego and that rejection is rough, but, fucking deal with it. We have to all the time.
About 8 weeks ago, a young lady ws reported missing from Brooklyn Iowa. Her name was Mollie Tibbetts. On a Tuesday, about two weeks ago, a body was discovered about 11 miles away from where she was last seen, presumed to be her body. An arrest has been made and a man has been charged with first degree murder in the case. I am so boiling angry over this I could scream.
Let me start by saying I remember watching stories like this all the time growing up about runners who went missing. There have been a couple that have ended up headless with their heads found floating in the canal where they used to run. This is nothing new to me in this idea of runners being taken and killed. Now that I too have become a runner, and the far reaching arms of social media, shit like this is being taken more and more seriously. But mostly because it happens to women is what is getting me so upset.
When Mollie first came up missing, there were discussions all over the internet as well as social media about tips to not get taken. Directed only to women. How to fight off an attacker. Run with a friend or a dog or both. Get pepper/mace spray. Carry a knife. Carry a gun. Run on a treadmill. Go to the gym. Don't run with only your bra and shorts on. All of these things and more.
And yet, none of this advice is what we would tell a man. I don't have to tell men that they should make sure to cover up their shoulders and knees because it could be distracting to women and interrupt their education. I don't tell men to take extra precautions when you are alone at night because some crazy woman could be lurking outside their windows waiting to break in. I don't have to tell men that running alone is dangerous and it's best to make sure to take extra precautions to go exercise because women are predators and anything could happen. I don't have to say these things to men because it's not something they have to worry about. But as a woman, it's what I have to teach my daughters because men are predators, it's in their nature. Boys will be boys after all.... right?
Why? This question has plagued me for the last few days. Why does it have to be like this? Why can't we just teach our boys to not fucking rape instead of teaching our girls how not to get rapped? And here's the kicker, statistically speaking, there's a very likely chance that it will happen to our baby girls anyway. What the actual fuck??? Have we collapsed so much as a society that it's like this?
I can't tell you how much this makes me crazy. I already run with my music low enough to hear my footsteps. I run with a dog. And pepper spray. And sometimes with my best friend. I have run with a blade handy, and I have also run with a screwdriver in my hand. It seems that we are going about this issue the wrong way. But with the current administration, it's like it's ok to talk to women like they don't have worth other than our looks and that can only be good for the pretty people. Our current administration makes it clear that so many things we as a group of women have fought for, are going out the window with remarks about how it's ok to grab a woman by the pussy if you're rich, because they love it... SMH....
And yet, I still go out to run in the mornings. I still have my dog and my protection, I have had a bit of advise on how to ward off an attacker. I have my wits and my own sense of survival that I want to keep in tact. But, I hate that it has to be like this. I don't know how to change it. I hate the idea of blaming girls for boys being boys. This is a sad excuse we have used for boys not keeping their hands to themselves and never being held accountable for these actions. Boys and men don't have to be assholes. They don't have to have everything catered to them either.
One time I would like to see a boy get sent home because his clothes were too reveling by showing his undershirt. Or sent to change because we can see his knees. There is no easy solution for these issues in our society, they plague women around the globe. It's not just a United States or England or Canada problem. It's in every corner around the world. It meets women from the time they wake in the morning to the time that they go to bed. All the while knowing that they are worth so much more than what they are treated like.
Now, I'm not saying that every women is without fault. Being a woman, I feel like it's like a four sided blade. I hate that I'm treated this way, yet I have used what I have to get my way. I have done things I'm not proud of to advance myself, (not in a lot of years though). I have used the ability to sweet talk someone to get them to do what I want. And yet, when I don't use it and it's given freely, and then we say something about it, well, then I'm just a bitch with an attitude. It's not an easy thing to be a woman, and yet, we keep going.
There is no telling if we will ever be able to feel like we are on an even playing field with our male counterparts. There is no way to know if we will ever have the same pay for the same job. What I do know is we are pissed and we are not going to take this any longer. I know that for me, I will do what ever I can to help teach young men that when she says no, leave her the fuck alone then. She has been nice enough to say no, now you be man enough to accept the rejection. If you see a woman out running, no, she doesn't need you to come up behind her and start yelling stupid things out the window at her. If you see a woman walking down the sidewalk on her way to where she is going, she doesn't need to hear, you would be prettier if you smile. If you see a woman who is dancing and she turns away from you to dance with another, let it go. She is dancing with someone else. Stop making it some sort of personal things against you if she says no. She's just not interested. That's not some sort of character flaw she's got because she isn't interested in what you've got to say, she just wants to be left alone. Now if she comes to you and asks if you want to dance, then go for it.. But understand that when the night is over and she leaves and goes home, just because you had a dance doesn't mean she wants you to show up at her house for an after hour party. I realize the world is dedicated to preservation of the male ego and that rejection is rough, but, fucking deal with it. We have to all the time.
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